blatherskite

Today I'm inspired by the song Lives by Modest Mouse. It nicely complements the stage I'm at in my sitting practice.

Everyone's afraid of their own life 
If you could be anything you want 
I bet you'd be disappointed, am I right?
No one really knows the ones they love 
If you knew everything they thought 
I bet that you'd wish that they'd just shut up
Well, you were the dull sound of sharp math
When you were alive 
No ones gonna play the harp when you die
And if I had a nickel for every damn dime 
I'd have half the time, do you mind?
Everyone's afraid of their own lives 
If you could be anything you want
I bet you'd be disappointed, am I right? 
Am I right? 
And it's our lives
It's hard to remember, it's hard to remember 
We're alive for the first time
It's hard to remember were alive for the last time
It's hard to remember, it's hard to remember
To live before you die
It's hard to remember, it's hard to remember 
That our lives are such a short time
It's hard to remember, it's hard to remember 
When it takes such a long time
It's hard to remember, it's hard to remember? 
My mom's God is a woman and my mom she is a witch
I like this
My hell comes from inside, comes from inside myself
Why fight this
Everyone's afraid of their own lives 
If you could be anything you want
I bet you'd be disappointed, am I right?

I never thought I'd be doing what I'm doing right now. I'm at work in my underwear, pillow marks on my face and am eating breakfast while posting a blog entry. Yup. I'm a work-at-home freelancer now.

There's nothing about my university job I didn't like. My peers were great to work with and had a real collaborative spirit. I had a kick-ass office that allowed my inner-introvert to hide and crank out Drupal code. And of course the job security and benefits would make any family man sleep soundly at night. So why the job change?

Last weekend Cori and I jumped in the car and saw our friend Stuart once again rock the inner chambers of the Omaha Healing Arts Center. If you've never seen Stuart play, besides performing he'll purposefully and obviously try to connect with you during the show. He doesn't stare up at the ceiling or close his eyes when he plays. He looks at the audience. He looks at you.

During the performance all I could think about was here's a dude who's living the way he wants to live: intentionally and aligned with the Bodhisattva vows. It blows me away when I think of the courage it takes to sometimes perform in a bar full of drunk people and sing songs of mysticism and love. That's some serious Buddha nuts.

Which leads me back to my resignation from the university. Sure my job has the tangible perks but I want to be closer to the Mystery. I want my heart to be as happy as the rest of me was at the day job.

So, here I go. Into less comfortable territory but with more conviction then I've had before. Let's see what unfolds, shall we?

If you're a color connoisseur or you're like me and just need some color scheme ideas, you'll love colourlovers.com.

Now this is a cool tool.

If you're tired of waiting for me to write something, check out my wife's blog.